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So, Don Ennis is going along like every other editor at ABC News, humping his butt to figure out ways to cover Barack Obama’s sorry skinny ass. Until May 2013, when he all of a sudden was in 1999, growing boobs and insisting co-workers call him Dawn.
No, swear to God.
He thought he was a woman trapped in a man’s body — but it turns out he’s “just another boring straight guy.”
ABC News editor Don Ennis strolled into the newsroom in May wearing a little black dress and an auburn wig and announced he was transgender and splitting from his wife. He wanted to be called Dawn.
But now he says he suffered from a two-day bout of amnesia that has made him realize he wants to live his life again as Don.
“I accused my wife of playing some kind of cruel joke, dressing me up in a wig and bra and making fake ID’s with the name ‘Dawn’ on it. Seriously,” Ennis wrote in an e-mail to friends and colleagues Friday, explaining his shock after he woke up from what he called a “transient global amnesia” last month.
The email was first obtained by the website NewsBlues.com
“It became obvious this was not the case once I took off the bra — and discovered two reasons I was wearing one,” he said, referring to his hormone-induced breasts.
“I thought it was 1999 . . . and I was sure as hell that I was a man,” Ennis said in the e-mail titled “Not Reportable, Very Confirmed.”
“Fortunately, my memories of the last 14 years have since returned. But what did not return was my identity as Dawn,” said Ennis, who had been wearing lipstick, skirts and heels.
“I am writing to let you know I’m changing my name . . . to Don Ennis. That will be my name again, now and forever. And it appears I’m not transgender after all.
“I have retained the much different mind-set I had in 1999: I am now totally, completely, unabashedly male in my mind, despite my physical attributes,” he said…
So he’ll probably still be very popular in the men’s showers at the New York Sports Club.
He added, “The new change I’m revealing to you today did not arise because I couldn’t hack it, or people wouldn’t accept the new/real/female ‘me,’ or I had trouble finding shoes that fit (Oh, I found plenty, more than I could afford)…Even my beloved, who had encouraged me to be true to myself at the expense of our marriage, had finally accepted my new identity.”
Insider Trader Tip: Manolo has transvestite sizes. Well, they fit Cindy Crawford anyway.
…Ennis further said … “No, I’m not f–king with you. No this is not a joke. No, this is not an episode of ‘Would You Fall For That?’”
I know. They called this sh*t sick until Kinsey came along and found out God makes all kinds of stupid mistakes everyday.
Get used to it, you bigoted worse-than-the-Taliban Christians, clinging to your guns and religion.
The question that has been popping up everywhere I go today? What would Lou Grant do, if Ted Baxter…?
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