Full Caf Americano®
Yes I know, the U.S. Department of Justice just issued a press release stating that San Francisco/#Gotham crime fighter #BatKid has captured master criminal the Joker, but their system has been hacked and it is a hoax.
THE JOKER IS STILL AT-LARGE
AP (WASHINGTON) The real Joker is allegedly hole up in a white house on Pennsylvania Avenue, in Washington, DC, and daring BatKid to come and get him.
UPDATE: AP reports that the real Joker has been seen in the last hour posing as a president at Andrews AF golf course in the company of the Scarecrow and two other members of his faux foursome, who may be Speaker John Boehner and Ohio Governor John Kasich. It is unclear whether Boehner and Kasich are hostages or part of the super villain’s criminal enterprise.
AN OPEN LETTER TO BATKID FROM FELLOW SUPER HERO REGULAR RIGHT GUY:
BatKid, while the RG realizes that San Francisco/#Gotham is in deep $#!+, Washington has been taken without a shot by this villainous enemy of the American Way. YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU NOW.
I am vastly outnumbered and Superman is fagging off somewhere out of touch. He may have gone over to the other side.
The Joker is said to roam a vast labyrinth of bathhouses beneath the city’s streets at night, plotting his moves. You may want to bring an adult along, and make sure your battights are not too snug. Do not be deceived by the Joker’s efforts to communicate with you directly.
WARNING: The Joker has been known to operate under the aliases Barack H. Obama, Barry, King Barry, Barry H. Soetoro and Mr. President. Do not expect assistance from the DoJ. It has been taken over by spree killer the Gunwalker. We will have to do this one on our own.
#SFBatKid, help RRG end this charlatan’s reign of terror.
Thank God the Make-A-Wish Foundation has helped make BatKid available. While we normally would be dubious of any nonprofit that has managed to maintain a 501 (c) 3 under the present administration, we need our superhero kids too much to worry about that now.
Meet me in Washington, BatKid.
I’ll be the one with the Big Red R on my chest.
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