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Okay, all of the good bloggers have had their say about Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson’s outrageous comments in his GQ interview Wednesday, but it wouldn’t be right, dang it, for the RG to just sit here and say nothing.
I have never seen Duck Dynasty. It just seemed to me that watching a family that looks like they walked off the set of Deliverance perpetrate Southern hijinks on each other wasn’t the best use of my evenings.
Now I know I was right.
I have seen the headlines and these gay-bashing cretins who are so stupid that they still say grace over their meals are inbred crackers who still believe in Jesus.
I mean WTF? Twitter should suspend their accounts immediately.
Well, GLAAD can say it a whole lot better than Regular Right Guy:
“Phil and his family claim to be Christian, but Phil’s lies about an entire community fly in the face of what true Christians believe,” GLAAD spokesperson Wilson Cruz tells E! News in a statement. “He clearly knows nothing about gay people or the majority of Louisianans—and Americans—who support legal recognition for loving and committed gay and lesbian couples.”
Cruz adds, “Phil’s decision to push vile and extreme stereotypes is a stain on A&E and his sponsors who now need to reexamine their ties to someone with such public disdain for LGBT people and families.”
Meaning, I think, that not all gay men are into sodomy, some are, er, more oral, or like to wee-wee on each other. Mr. Robertson? Sir, you can rent DVDs on this subject, which will help you not to be so danged ignorant about everyday normal gay sex.
In the mean time, how dare you be so un-Christian by exercising your rights to freedom of speech and thought and disagreeing with all Americans everywhere that being gay is just another normal. You, sir, know nothing about being a Christian.
You probably even believe Sodom and Gomorrah were turned into toast by God because gay people lived there. Hahahaha! Everyone who’s ever been to school knows it was turned into toast by God because they were too rich and prosperous and they ate meat. How stupid can you be? You bigoted tongues-talking snake handler!
It is perfectly acceptable for a man to put his tallywacker in another consenting man’s poopshoot—if that is the way they choose to celebrate their sexuality—and if you don’t believe that sir, you should cease to exist because you are not qualified to be a human being.
I mean, the science is settled. And you, sir, are as un-Christian as un-Christian can be for not agreeing with gay people’s interpretation of the Scriptures and science and everything else up to and including no-score T-ball.
You… you… you hater.
Disclaimer: References to oral, anal, manual manipulation, water sports or other sexual activities are made purely as examples of possible methods of gay sexual activity and not intended as medical advice. Regular Right Guy suggests readers consult their physicians and personal training professionals before attempting any heretofore erroneously alleged unnatural sexual acts, especially in public men’s rooms. No gays, lesbians or transgendered people were killed or injured in the production of this blog post.
UPDATE: Phil Robertson apologizes!
Okay, disregard everything the RG said above. Phil, anyone can learn from a simple mistake. Call Barbara Walters. No, really. Or Chaz Bono.
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Merry Christmas everybody!
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