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Bill Clinton, the one president we can safely assume has not spent a night alone since he was attorney general of Arkansas, thinks we—meaning all of us, not just powerful politicians with coveys of interns to chase down the halls—might not be alone.
Bill Clinton says we may not be alone.
During an appearance on ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Wednesday, the 42nd president was pressed by host Jimmy Kimmel about whether he saw any classified information while in office proving the existence of aliens.
While Clinton said he had “all the Roswell papers reviewed” and found no clear evidence that aliens exist, he also said he wouldn’t be shocked if intelligent life exists outside our planet or even if extraterrestrials one day visit Earth.
“We know now we live in an ever-expanding universe,” Clinton said. “We know that there are billions of stars and planets literally out there — and the universe is getting bigger. We know from our fancy telescopes that just in the last two years more than 20 planets have been identified outside our solar system that seem to be far enough away from their suns — and dense enough — that they might be able to support some form of life.”
“So it makes it increasing less likely that we’re alone,” he continued.
“Oh, you’re trying to give me a hint that there are aliens,” Kimmel quipped in response.
“No, I’m trying to tell you I don’t know,” Clinton replied. “But if we were visited some day, I wouldn’t be surprised. I just hope that it’s not like ‘Independence Day,’ the movie — that it’s, you know, a conflict.”
Now that’s rich because neither would most of us be surprised.
During Bill’s presidency in the 1990s, 13 million aliens “visited” the United States, most uninvited, and most are still here. Granted none—that we are aware of—came in Borg Cubes or D7 Class Battle Cruisers, but as a former president surely Bill has seen the data.
You know, Mr. President.
So cough it up. They ARE visiting us.
You are Mr. Alien Invasion, sir.
Just during your two terms alone, seemingly half the Muslims in Bosnia immigrated to the U.S.; millions of illegal (strike that) undocumented aliens, or as you Democrats like to call them, future Democrats, crossed our borders to mow our lawns and wash our cars unabated; and we don’t know how many Middle Eastern students on expired visas remain.
Probably nothing to worry about there, though. They are probably driving cabs or opening cigarette stores. May Allah be praised!
So what are a few Klingons and Romulians in a sea of unidentified aliens?
We can handle it. And remember, Will Smith won in Independence Day.
Young black kids still can’t get after-school jobs but what are a few more street-corner crack dealers when global, no, universal harmony is at stake?
Oh, and Mr. President? The Viagra flush does NOT work with that suit.
All right, all right, so sometimes the RG just wants to be silly.
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