Regular Right Guy

Full Caf Americano®

Auntie Zeituni is Dead

obit obamas aunt-1335023055_v2.grid-4x2The act of love, otherwise known as Illegal Immigration, ended for Barack H. Obama’s Auntie Zeituni this week. The lawbreaking Kenyan interloper died of cancer in her taxpayer-provided bed with her family… well, some of her family around her.

The White House has not commented on whether or not the president will attend the funeral or if Joe Biden will sub.

Sources close to the president say he may ascribe to the ancient Kenyan proverb: “Who is my mother, my father, my aunt, my uncle? Are these not just people? Because golf.”

Michele Malkin via American Power

Zeituni’s 14-year illegal overstay is a reminder that our temporary visa program is an abysmal joke. Like millions of foreign students, business people and tourists to this country, Auntie Zeituni obtained a short-term visitor visa in 2000. It had an expiration date. She was supposed to go back to Kenya in two years after traveling here with her son, who had been accepted at a college in Boston.

But like millions of other “temporary” visa overstayers, Auntie Zeituni never went home. And despite billions spent on homeland security and immigration enforcement, no one ever went looking for her to kick her out of the country after her time was up.

Auntie Zeituni had no job skills, no special talent, no compelling reason to keep her here in America as an asset to our culture or our economy. She didn’t value the American Dream. She was a dependency nightmare. She collected $700 a month in welfare benefits and disability payments totaling $51,000. Somehow, Auntie Zeituni also drummed up money to apply for asylum and finagled her way into both federal and state public housing in Boston.

So Auntie Zeituni is gone. But she lived the Obama American dream: leave a place where you have to scrape to earn a simple living, and come to America where everything is free and all you have to do is learn to deke the system.

[Note: Read the Parable of Joe the Plumber for further information on Barack Obama’s America Dream]

But problem solved.


Auntie Zeituni will no longer be taking up space and valuable resources that could be used to house and feed an American crack mother and her 7 children… whose fathers may be in Kenya or off somewhere smoking a blunt, for all anyone knows.

Rest in peace, Auntie Zeituni.

May Allah be praised!

h/t Donald Douglas


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2 comments on “Auntie Zeituni is Dead

  1. Gingi Edmonds Freeman
    April 14, 2014

    ROFLMAO.. I seriously had to read this out loud to my husband and mother (staying with the parents as we try to close on our first house, wheeee!!) We’re laughing pretty damn hard. I think you got a new follower in my mum, haha…

    • Regular Right Guy
      April 14, 2014

      Gyngi, you are SO good for me. Mr. & Mrs. RG send regards to Mum and family.

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April 2014

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