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I’ll admit to a personal bias against Gwyneth Paltrow; I had problems with her mother, Blythe Danner, back in the 1970s. The woman was like, I don’t know, walking into a room with way too much chintz.
But Blythe outdone herself with daughter Gwyneth.
Today Gwyneth, who has lived in England for all but one year of Barack Obama’s presidency, shares some of her famously clueless @$$ wind on the 44th President.
… Recently, Gwyneth Paltrow was a speaker at the Democratic National Committee fundraiser. This should be expected because Paltrow is a staunch liberal, but what was interesting about her speech is it consisted of a lot of lavish praising of our president, Barack Obama. One could even say that Paltrow was probably “flirting” with the big man in the White House.
“You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly.”
Such high praise is contrasting to the fact that the majority of Americans — about 52 percent — see Barack Obama as a failure, according to the latest ABC News/Washington Post poll. His ratings for strong leadership also dropped to an all-time low. Still, that wouldn’t stop Gwyneth Paltrow from buttering up the president.
“I’m one of your biggest fans, if not the biggest. The life that you brought to this country and the passion will historically be the most looked at and scrutinized presidencies of all time.”
Yes, Gwyneth, Trey Goudy’s life alone is pretty much mapped out with scrutinizing for the next five years. By the time the next administration gets done handing down indictments, the decade will be pffttttt.
Here are 10 of our favorite Gwyneth quotes:
On Motherhood: “I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.” I know, huh? It’s like all, Wisconsin? and everything!
On Cheese: “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.” Let me think… Yes, I am sure of that.
On Parisian concierges: “When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, ‘No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?'” Well, Gwyneth, you could always be more generous with your tipping. [Warning: Offensive]
On Impending Seperation: “Sometimes it’s hard being with someone for a long time. We go through periods that aren’t all rosy,” the actress told Elle. “I always say, life is long and you never know what’s going to happen…” That is so… Zen, don’t you think?
On Rocks: “I’ll never forget it. I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say: ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.” Um… okay?
On Zucchini: “When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.” Just down the path from the flowering sinsemilla.
On More Worse Motherhood: “I’m just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother who’s trying to do everything at once and trying to be a wife and maintain a relationship. …” Worst Experience Ever: Birthday registry at Barney’s.
On Life: “I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.” How do Walmart shoppers hate thee? Let me count the ways.
On Luggage: “I feel a sisterhood emerging around me. I’m less threatening now that I’m 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar.” Gwyneth, whisper that in someone’s ear, and see how it sounds when it gets back to you.
On Luxury: “We’ve got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden — a luxury, I know, but it’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made.” Gwyneth, now think about that. All those screaming little tree parts?
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