Full Caf Americano®
Yes, it is time again for the RG’s year-end awards’ presentations to our favorite lefties. The list this year was far too big to recognize all of the men and women who have done the most to rape, pillage and plunder this great bastion of Liberty, but here are a few we think stand out.
10. Andrew Cuomo — What Does Mario Cuomo call a moron? “A chip off the old block.” This year Andrew single-handedly purged NY of the conservative hoards, depth-charged his own “Start Up New York” (the Texas business-owner’s equivalent to arson) and, finally, began a corruption investigation of which he has become the principal focus. Way, Andy!
9. Tommy Vietor — For “Dude, this was like two years ago.” Greg Gutfeld summed it up best: “It’s not Watergate, of course. To the media, this doesn’t even merit a ‘gate.’ Christie has Bridgegate, but no ‘Benghazigate’ … there’s no ‘IRS-gate,’ there’s no ‘DOJ-gate,’ there’s no ‘Fast & Furious-gate.’ Obama’s White House is a gated community. They are so good at concealing they could put Revlon out of business.”
8. Vladimir Putin — For the “Obama Diet.” He’s eaten Barry’s lunch so many times that Michelle is thinking about adding a Barry Burger to her school lunch program.
Here, take big double dose of Russian machismo, American-African wussie!
Vlad kill you with crook of little pinky, President sissy boy.
7. Debbie Wasserman Schultz — If you don’t know who DWS is, you are either: 1) Uniformed of what’s going on in the upper echelons of Democratic Party politics, or, 2) Lucky.
6. Jonathan Gruber — MIT Obamacare architect. For jumping stupidity into the 95th percentile. Or as Forrest Gump famously said, “Stupid is as stupid does.” Perhaps one tweep said it best: “Bend over, Dr. Obama is ready to #Gruber you now.”
5. Rosie O’Donnell — “Big fat lesbian Rosie” returned to “The View” this year and reaffirmed the big fat truth that she doesn’t have to be big, fat or lesbian for people to find her just plain obnoxious. Rosie has to be a primary reason tornados and other acts of God seek out trailer parks.
4. Michael Sam — First openly gay player in professional sports. In a year-end interview with Oprah Winfrey, Michael wondered, “It didn’t need to be public… Why do gay people have to do it?” I dunno, Mikey; maybe you should ask the agents and publicist you hired to photograph you with your tongue down your boyfriend’s throat.
3. Lena Dunham — This darling of the left-wing critics couldn’t hold an audience with a homicide bomb strapped to her substantial shapeless naked body. In her endless quest for attention she has: admitted to molesting her little sister, claimed to have been molested by a family member and raped by a “Republican” who doesn’t exist. All of this after she threatened to never act again… To which no one begged, Please Lena, Not that!!!
Leave it there.
And the 2014 Lefty of the Year Award Goes to…
Barack H. Obama!!!!
Yes, once again our top Lefty goes to the Felon-In-Chief. In considering the past six years, one can only wonder what Barack Obama’s legacy will be: IRS targeting? Benghazi? Veterans’ scandals? The Taliban Five? Obliviously golfing while Malaysians are drowning in a monsoon or Americans are having their heads lopped off by monsters Barry’s incompetence unleashed?
But the greatest hoax of Barack Obama’s pretend presidency is the allegation that he is the first black president. Can we actually confirm that Mr. Obama even knows a real black person? Okay, his family members and a few golf junkies. Well, Valerie Jarrett, but he works for her.
Barack isn’t African American; he’s African-Kenyan, African-Indonesian and African anti-American. He has about as much soul as “The Nutcracker Suite”.
Peoples’ Exhibit 1:
Regular Right hereby reinstates William Jefferson Clinton as the First Black President of the United States.
President Obama, your Homeboy card is permanently revoked.
And the Honorary Lefty of 2014…
As some of you are aware (namely my wife and the three friends who read this nonsense every most days) it has been our practice in recent years to present an honorary Lefty Award to a prominent RINO.
After long arduous … okay, it took us five minutes to select:
Mitt Romney — Because Just when I think I’m out, they draaaaaaag me back in!
LEAVE MITT ALONE PEOPLE. Why is it you Republican’s and conservatives won’t allow this man to return to private life and leave him in peace? Peace, I tell you. Mitt’s time has come and gone. LEAVE. MITT. IN. PEACE.
The Other McCain
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