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Jared Fogle Blames Subway Diet for Sex Crimes

thJared Fogle came to international prominence after claiming to have lost 245 lbs. eating nothing but Subway turkey and veggie subs.

Subway was ecstatic; they made him their spokesman and he became a whirlwind success almost overnight.

Then complications set in…

Page Six:

The Subway diet made him do it.

That’s the excuse a defense psychiatrist has trotted out to explain former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle’s sex crimes.

“Once he lost weight, it seemed as though in a short time he had hyper-sexuality,” forensic psychiatrist John Bradford testified for the defense at Fogle’s sentencing Thursday morning in Indianapolis. “There are brain disorders that can be associated with sexual drive.” … [read it]

And not just a hyper sex drive, but the drive to have sex with minors under 14.

You all know how that is.

You unwrap that sub and take a big, sloppy bite and suddenly you have the uncontrollable urge to fly to New York and have sex with a 13 year old girl?

How can we allow Subway to continue to sell this insidious sub? All Jared Fogle wanted to do was help Michelle Obama end childhood obesity, and he ends up with… um, “sexual exploitative disorder.” Is this fare?

Now he has to spend more than 15 years behind bars gaining all that weight back on a starchy prison diet.

End the Subway madness now!

HT/Jim Treacher


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3 comments on “Jared Fogle Blames Subway Diet for Sex Crimes

  1. theebl
    November 21, 2015

    Do they serve five dollar foot longs in prison?

  2. thatmrgguy
    November 22, 2015

    Reblogged this on That Mr. G Guy's Blog.

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This entry was posted on November 21, 2015 by in Entertainment, Sex Scandals, Sexual Debauchery, Television and tagged , , , .



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