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Lohan Film ‘The Canyons’ Does What Lohan Films Do… Only Less

Lindsay-LohanOkay, Lindsay Lohan we understand; incentive salience is pandemic nowadays, but why Paul Schrader (Taxi Driver, Raging Bull) would hire Lohan and pair her with a porn star who can’t rise to any occasion north of his beltline… well, you go figure.

Oh, Brett Easton Ellis? That explains everything. He’s gay, he’s moody, he’s edgy! And did we tell you he’s gay? Well, okay, as Ellis describes it, “indeterminate sexuality,” meaning, um, gay. You know what they say, “S*ck one @%$& and you’re a $%^*! for life.”

Okay, another subject for another day. Dynamic combination, that moody, edgy, “indeterminate sexuality” thing, though, don’t you think?

Showbiz411 Via Drudge:

Lindsay Lohan can chalk up “The Canyons” to pre-rehab mania. But the Paul Schrader directed, Brett Easton Ellis soft core porn extravaganza is done at the box office. After debuting last week, this week “The Canyons” box office fell 28%. That makes its total just $30,100.

Coincidentally, that’s the same amount rehab facilities were offering Lohan if she cleaned up with them.

Lindsay topless and looking uncomfortable, real life porn actor James Deen frontless and pantless and unable to perform (I mean act) added up to a disaster of a film that shouldn’t have been made in the first place.

IFC Films took a gamble on it becoming a cult film by paying nothing for “The Canyons.” They got nothing in return. The upside is that Deen goes back to oblivion. Lindsay can focus on turning her career around. There’s no place to go but up after “The Canyons.”

Trailer music by Kanye West. A coup! Yes?

What is happening in Hollywood?

Steven Soderbergh did The Girlfriend Experience in 2009 with then porn star Sasha Grey, where she plays a high-end call girl (HUGE STRETCH) and sits around, meets a client, smokes, meets a client, stares, meets a client, sighs, and meets more clients for 77 grueling minutes.

Art.

Hey, one thought, though: Anthony Weiner?

Big Hollywood:

Anthony Weiner, the disgraced Congressman vying to be the next Mayor of New York City, is traveling with a filmmaker on the campaign trail. That could yield plenty of footage for a documentary on the man whose sexting habits all but derailed his political career. 

The Post spied MTV filmmaker Josh Kriegman — who is also Weiner’s former congressional district director — filming his every last word on the campaign trail recently. He’s often seen riding with Weiner, and a black mike box has been in Weiner’s back pants pocket for at least two weeks. [Yeah, you gotta read it]

I’m going to endure another James Patterson book now, until the next Michael Connelly comes out. Alex Cross wins while fighting racial oppression and Republican bigotry in Washington… but you knew that, right?

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2 comments on “Lohan Film ‘The Canyons’ Does What Lohan Films Do… Only Less

  1. Pingback: This Stupid Week, SEO Edition | Blackmailers Don't Shoot

  2. Pingback: FMJRA 2.0: Totem : The Other McCain

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