#Oscar Whiners

I didn’t really watch the Oscars last night; I was rereading an old Philip K. Dick novel to see if I could figure out whether Deckard was really a replicant or not.

I had the set on, though, and was glancing up now and then. I found myself wondering all evening, which “Doogie Houser” director was the pervert who got to little Neil Patrick Harris’s pre-adolescent booty, and screwed up a really nice kid.

The Oscars are the original selfie, aren’t they? Every year they get longer. I keep waiting for them to establish a best “Best Boy” category.

And almost no one speaks unaccented English anymore. Isn’t that why they have the BAFTAs and Césars, so we don’t have to put up with a room full of mush mouthed foreigners? We don’t need a foreign language film category anymore; Best Picture is the foreign language film category.

This year’s program was message oriented: It’s always inspiring when someone like Patricia Arquette, who makes seven figures, even for the dogs she usually appears in, gets up and rants about income equality.

That’s our Patricia: making the world a better place one straight-to-DVD film at a time. It should not be lost on the viewers that when she began the 13-year-long “Boyhood” shoot, a few people still remembered she made “True Romance,” a movie somebody actually bought tickets to see.

Well, the Arquette family is the whole bag of nuts to begin with, but when Patricia used her acceptance time to raise our awareness, I put the marker in and watched.

When Meryl Streep jumped to her feet in solidarity, I thought, Waitaminute; Streep could solve Arquette’s problem right here.

Streep makes eight figures for her flicks; she needs to fork over a few mil for Patricia. “Level the playing field,” as one jug-eared chief executive is fond of saying. Equal pay for equal work, right?

Give it up, girl!

Of course the Oscars aren’t about income equality or even the art of filmmaking.

They are Hollywood’s perennial reminder to us that we don’t matter.

While you, on one hand, overwhelmingly think “American Sniper” is the best picture of 2014, they can tell you that you are complete idiots and select a movie that did one-tenth the box office.

Not that a best picture is necessarily only about revenue. “American Sniper” is a uniquely American story about a true American warrior, and the complex inner struggle he endured with the call to serve.

“Birdman is about a washed up actor and his drug addicted daughter, based on a play by a guy who drank himself to death. So see what you know.

Some closing comments from John Nolte at Breitbart:

The dearth of legitimate stars in Hollywood is reaching a crisis point.

Had “American Sniper” won Best Picture Sean Penn would have burst into flames.

“Birdman” won Best Picture? Who are the freaks who vote on this stuff?

Movies released in 2014 better than “Birdman”…

“Get On Up,” “Godzilla,” “X-Men: Days of Future Past,” “Gone Girl,” “The Equalizer,” Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,” “John Wick,” “American Sniper,” “Interstellar,” “Edge of Tomorrow,” “Fury,” “Chef,” “The Imitation Game,” and “Nightcrawler.”

I will now go box my RealWorld Compass with an episode of NatGeo’s “Mountain Men.”

Finally: “Birdman” director Inarritu did something tonight I don’t think I have ever heard anyone on the Left do: criticize the Mexican government for the conditions that create this immigration nightmare here in America. He called for a fairer and more decent government in … Mexico, and called America a “wonderful immigrant nation.” The media won’t give that much attention. It’s off-narrative. But it was still nice to hear someone speak that inconvenient truth.