Dartmouth Occupiers, The 1960s Called

And they want their revolution back.

Well … I’m just finding out about the student occupation of the Dartmouth administration building at the Wall Street Journal, “Oppressed by the Ivy League“:

The demonstrators had a 72-point manifesto instructing the college to establish pre-set racial admission quotas and a mandatory ethnic studies curriculum for all students. Their other inspirations are for more “womyn or people of color” faculty; covering sex change operations on the college health plan (“we demand body and gender self-determination”); censoring the library catalog for offensive terms; and installing “gender-neutral bathrooms” in every campus facility, specifically including sports locker rooms.

Oh, I get it! Sort of like the ’60’s except without a cause.

I see they’ve gone with the y in womyn rather than the alternative i. Well okay then.

Honestly, this doesn’t seem very serious to me. No one has used the word “odious” yet. When that happens, watch out.

We rarely sympathize with college administrators but we’ll make an exception for Dartmouth President Phil Hanlon, an accomplished mathematician who for some reason took the job last year. The occupiers filmed their confrontation and uploaded the hostage video to the Web, where Mr. Hanlon can be seen agog as his charges berate him for his “micro-aggressions.” Those are bias infractions that can’t be identified without the right political training.

Mr. Hanlon left after an hour and told the little tyrants that he welcomed a “conversation” about their ultimatums. They responded in a statement that conversations—to be clear, talking—will lead to “further physical and emotional violence enacted against us by the racist, classist, sexist, heterosexist, transphobic, xenophobic, and ableist structures at Dartmouth.” They added: “Our bodies are already on the line, in danger, and under attack.”

See? Odious wasn’t mentioned once.

Okay, so you failed this time but THE WAR IS NOT LOST.

One small point of criticism: You guys need to organize better.

Obviously no one in high school ever told you guys that 90 percent of authority is assumed. You want Of Mice and Men banned, march on the library, demand all copies and burn them! Hold the librarian hostage until he or she calls the publishers and reads all 72 points of your manifesto.

BTW: Manifestos need names: like the “Port Huron Statement,” something with a little romanticism in the title. You will thank me in 30 years.

And be sure to give NBC the heads up first. I know. YouTube. But trust me.

That’s how we did things in the sixties, dudes. And we got things done. Of course we had Cinque and Abby and Ira Einhorne and Huey Newton and really cool people. Not to be offensive, but you guys don’t even have Huey Lewis and the News.

Oh well, leaders sort of find themselves.

Not that we do not totally relate: I got so fed up with looking at white professors and instructors everyday that I had to remove the mirrors from my dorm room. White people. Yuck. We had, like, maybe eight students from Belize. AND THEY SPOKE ENGLISH!

But you can do this.

Want your genitalia reassignment covered? Storm the president’s office and hold him hostage until he logs on to Healthcare.gov. Simple. Or better yet, until he calls Kathy Sibelius. There’s your progress right there.

GET COVERED.

Solidarity. That’s what you have to remember, first and foremost. No one’s going to listen to you unless you remain unified. And look angry. Squint a lot when you’re speaking. Never. Ever. Smile.

And above all, remember who you are dealing with.

Donald Douglas:

Read the rest, but the bottom line is the president should have had the students arrested for trespassing and and placed under administrative investigation for violation of the college’s academic contract with the threat of expulsion. The fact that he didn’t gives you some idea of how screwed up we are as a society nowadays (partly explained at the editorial by the power of the U.S. Department of Education’s civil rights Torquemadas).

Wimps. You are dealing with wimps.

Remember that.

And you know how to deal with wimps. Sure you do. You whined and stomped your feet at home until those wimps that call themselves parents bought you that mini-Cooper for graduation. And finally gave up and supported all of your choices. You’ve still got the VisaCard, dontcha?

See?

And they wanted you to spend a year getting some “life experience” at Arby’s!

Reblogged @Mr. G Guy. Thanks Mike!

Thanks for all the RTs everyone!!!

Linked @Blackamilers Don’t Shoot. All Kent State jokes welcome. Thank you Blackie!