This Week with #Hillary2016

You cannot make this stuff up.

Unless of course you’re Hillary Clinton. Then you have a staff of young Red Bull-drinking geniuses coming up with bright ideas like these to make you look like you actually clip your own toenails.

Or sometimes you can just be Hillary being Hillary…

Scooby Van Tour: Take One:

Remember the Great Scranton Potato Famine?

Yes, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, that is Hillary’s truth, and your siblings must be your first cousins and rebuild dune buggies in their backyards if you were impertinent enough to point it out. Where are your manners?

Factualism is for hicks who stayed in Bumbottom, IA, while Hillary was setting out to become Time’s Person of the Year, and, yes, your next president.

If Hillary always thought of her grandparents as immigrants, then it’s the damned thought that counts. And her grandparents were at least as damned immigrant as Elizabeth Warren’s were Cherokee.

Hillary has her truth and you better keep it buttoned if you don’t want your taxes audited back to 10 minutes before you were born.

Scooby Van Tour: Take Two:

Nothing like a few impromptu conversations after a hard day in the Scooby Van and braving the low-pressure showers in Best Western motel rooms.

https://twitter.com/weknowwhatsbest/status/588672570947284995

You can talk with women who don’t have facelifts about all the pretty daffodils in Iowa and press the flesh with, I don’t know, dress up the some Secret Service guys to look like John Deere salesmen …